Firslty, apologies that my first pop in months is whiney. But hey… needs must
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Dear Girl
The Argos catalogue is not a pre-made list of things for you to want and/or demand.
IF you make it to your 6th birthday THEN we can talk about what you can have.
Until then – please for the love of all that is holy and right… stop with the “I wants”
Sick of the “gimmies” – your Mother x
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Dear Hot Geek
I love that you love to exercise, really I do. Those arms of yours are just awesome.
But if you can’t be bothered to un-ball your sweaty socks BEFORE you put them in the wash then I’m afraid they won’t be getting washed.
With love – your girlfriend
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Dear Fat Ass
You. Will. Be. Gone.
With no more patience for you, Me
Dear Skinny Jeans,
If I can’t get you off, neither can the rapists.
Love
Joe